SGR 089: What To Do When You Have a Lot of Time Together and No Shared Hobbies

June 11, 2020 Marina Voron

If you and your partner have been “staying at home” together these past few months, you may have come to a realization:

We have no shared hobbies.

So many couples are facing this, as the usual hustle-and-bustle has been paused. Gyms, restaurants, and movie theaters have been closed. Spas and salons have been closed. Spending time with friends has been put on hold.

You may have been looking at your partner trying to figure out what in the world you’re going to do together. This can be challenging for a number of reasons.

SGR 088: Why Asking Your Partner How They’re Doing is Extra Important Right Now

May 28, 2020 Marina Voron

When was the last time you asked your partner how they were doing? I mean really took the time, distraction-free, to sit, look them in the eye, and asked.

My guess is - probably not recently enough.

This conversation should be happening daily. Every day, you and your partner should be sitting down for 15 to 20 minutes to check in with one another.

How are you feeling?

What’s your biggest stressor right now?

Is there anything I can do to help you with that?

This simple practice has a number of benefits, like:

Increased emotional intimacy
Feeling supported by your partner
Knowing what’s really going on in your partner’s inner world
Giving benefit of the doubt easily because you have a more accurate context for your partner’s words and actions
Reduced stress
Deposits in the emotional bank account

Showing up for this daily check-in is important all the time, but now, especially, with the increased stress and anxiety many of us are experiencing it’s even more crucial.

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about the importance of doing a daily check-in with your partner, exactly how to approach it, and strategies for troubleshooting the common challenges. If you haven’t been doing this practice and you’d like to learn more, be sure to check it out.

SGR 087: Navigating Differing Views on COVID-19 Guidance in Your Family

May 21, 2020 Marina Voron

Typically, when our opinions differ from those of a friend or family member, we can choose to avoid talking about that topic or come to compromise. Things like politics or what to order for dinner are fairly simple to manage with loved ones.

But, what about COVID-19 precautions?

You don’t need to talk about them, but you do need to embody the ones that are important to you. As you, your family, and friends enact new practices, you’ll quickly discover the areas of disagreement.

What happens when you’re together, but abiding by differing practices?

It’s time for a refresh on boundaries.

There are a few ways to navigate situations where you’ll be with friends or family members who practice different precautions in the coming months.

SGR 086: How to Make Changes Without Motivation

May 14, 2020 Marina Voron

Most of us have developed some less-than-ideal coping skills recently.

Staying up too late.
Eating junk food.
Having too many coffees or cocktails.
Watching Netflix for hours on end.
Foregoing your usual workouts.

These are stressful times and we’ve got to get through it somehow. This is probably not the right time to start a Whole 30 or overhaul all your “unhealthy” habits. You’d likely be setting yourself up for failure.

How about one small shift?

What if you add or pair one small, good-for-you action with the others?

SGR 085: How You and Your Partner Can Take a Break from the Heaviness of COVID-19

May 7, 2020 Marina Voron

Since we’ve been “staying at home,” we’ve heard from tons of couples that they’re struggling with opposite sex drives.

These are couples who don’t usually experience this - their desire levels are typically aligned.

But, people react differently to stress.

They react differently to ongoing stress.

For some, the stress response hits the breaks on desire more than their desire is accelerated, leading to a reduced sex drive. For others, their desire is accelerated more than the stress response hits the breaks. If these two people are in a relationship together, they may be experiencing opposite sex drives right now.

SGR 084: Coping with Opposite Sex Drives During Coronavirus

April 30, 2020 Marina Voron

Since we’ve been “staying at home,” we’ve heard from tons of couples that they’re struggling with opposite sex drives.

These are couples who don’t usually experience this - their desire levels are typically aligned.

But, people react differently to stress.

They react differently to ongoing stress.

In this week’s episode, our resident Certified Sex Therapist, Marina Voron, is helping us identify whether this is what you may be going through, understand how and why this is happening, and giving strategies for how to navigate this successfully in your relationship.

SGR 083: How to Agree to Disagree When Under Extra Stress

April 23, 2020 Marina Voron

Disagreements are challenging to navigate in general, but when you’re both under additional stress they can become explosive. Having the ability to recognize when an argument isn’t going anywhere and you and your partner may just not see eye-to-eye is key.

Agreeing to disagree means:

We fully heard each other’s position on this issue. We understand our own point of view and our partner’s. With that information, we still do not agree. We don’t “have to” agree or find a compromise right now. We can drop this and revisit it at a future time or it may not even require another conversation. We’re going to accept that we were not able to agree and move on with our day.

Having the ability to do this helps you avoid getting stuck in unnecessary conflict, spend more time feeling comfortable and supported in your relationship, and minimizes disruptions to rituals of connection and other positive routines.

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about:

What makes agreeing to disagree so challenging
How being able to agree to disagree benefits you and your relationship
The exact steps to follow to agree to disagree successfully

SGR 082: Dividing Household and Childcare Responsibilities When You’re Both Working From Home

April 16, 2020 Marina Voron

One of the biggest challenges we’ve heard from couples we work with since quarantine began is managing household and childcare responsibilities.

All of a sudden, both of you were working from home. Schools and daycares closed, so the kids were home too.

Wow.

This has been a huge transition for families.

These circumstances lend themselves to increased stress and anxiety, less time for self-care, more conflict, and feelings of overwhelm. When both you and your partner are having a hard time, it can be extra challenging to come together as a team - but even more important.

There are a few simple strategies for navigating our new reality constructively:

Get clear on where you’re at and what you want
Approach your partner gently to discuss how you’re feeling and what you’re needing (and invite them to share the same)
Come up with a plan and execute it

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about the struggles in this sudden transition, how to communicate with your partner to create a shared plan, and concrete tips for making it work.

SGR 078: Emotionally Surviving Coronavirus

March 19, 2020 Marina Voron

Well, things have certainly shifted over the past few weeks. Here in NY, schools are closed, restaurants and many small businesses are closed, and a ton of people are working from home who never have before.

There is a heightened level of stress and anxiety right now that’s weighing on everyone. Aside from concerns about the impact on the health of ourselves, friends, and family, there are financial concerns, and the need to adapt suddenly to unexpected lifestyle changes.

We recorded this episode last week, so some information may already be outdated. The strategies, however, remain consistent. It’s time for self-care, boundaries, and effective tools for managing your emotional load.

In this week’s episode, we’re walking you through how to navigate your own stress and anxiety, while preserving your relationship health, as we face the coronavirus pandemic together.

We realize many couples are suddenly home together full-time (some with their kiddos) or one or both spouses are working around the clock in healthcare. In an effort to provide additional support, Meredith is offering free online coaching, Feel Closer to Your Partner in 9 Days, starting this Monday, March 23rd. You can register here

Sep 17, 2020

SGR 103: Pelvic Floor Health and Sexual Pleasure with Kim Vopni

Are Kegels as close as you’ve gotten to being informed about pelvic floor health?

If so, this week’s episode is for you.

Some signs that you may be having pelvic floor issues include:

Incontinence
Lower back pain
Discomfort with sex
A weak core