Our resident Certified Sex Therapist, Marina Voron, gets asked this question by couples A LOT.
“How often should we be having sex?”
For most couples, it seems once a week is a healthy target.
The focus on frequency of sex is really about making it a habit. Once a week seems to be often enough that couples can get into a routine and have consistent enough opportunities to make it happen.
When sex happens less than once a week, it can start to feel high stakes and pressured, since it doesn’t happen “a lot.” We look for “perfect sex” and are easily disappointed if expectations aren’t met. This can kickstart a cycle of negativity around sex and physical affection, making it increasingly challenging to reset.