As you started dabbling in the dating world, did you believe you’d find and fall in love with your soulmate? Did you expect to build a life together, agree on everything, and live happily ever after?
This belief is pervasive in our culture.
The belief that in a good relationship people must agree.
They must agree on the big stuff, the small stuff, really… all the stuff.
Unfortunately, this is impossible.
It sets couples up for failure, disappointment, and feeling not good enough. It leaves them striving for an unattainable goal.
You are two different people with two different histories, values, beliefs, and opinions.
This is a positive! Would you really want to marry your clone?
Trying to come to an agreement in all of these areas is an unnecessary, uphill battle that will only lead to highlighting your differences and polarizing you at opposite ends of the spectrum. You’ll end up feeling more like adversaries than partners.
Don’t worry, though.
It is possible to stop fearing disagreement and to embrace your differing opinions.
All it takes is shifting your focus from:
“We have to agree” to “we have to understand.”
This week we are talking about how to truly agree to disagree in order to build more understanding and connection in your relationship. We’re covering:
- Is it normal to disagree with your partner?
- Why couples fear disagreement
- How to accept disagreement
- How to actually agree to disagree without hating each other - yes, there is a way!
We’ve got a great bonus for you, too. The Road Map from Disagreement to Acceptance allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings to move from butting heads to creating more understanding and empathy for each other, without having to reach an agreement.
Short on time? Here’s a list of today’s topics and when to listen:
- Is it normal to disagree with your partner? - 1:51
- Why couples fear disagreement - 3:49
- What does it mean if we don’t agree? - 5:30
- “Should’s” - 5:38
- Acceptance - 9:20
- “But’s” - 12:10
- How to agree to disagree - 15:02
- Committing to understanding - 15:14
- Understanding why your partner’s opinions are important to them - 15:29
- Meredith + Marina’s takeaways - 18:44