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SGR 013: When Married Life Doesn't Feel Like A Fairy-Tale

September 28, 2017 Marina Voron
EPISODE 013 THUMBNAIL.jpg
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Think back…

When you first started dating, it was all romantic dinners, date nights, long walks, and longer conversations.

There was passion and intimacy. You were dreaming of your future and couldn’t wait to build an amazing life together.

Fast forward to today:

You go to work, you come home, have dinner, do the dishes, and go to bed. You’ve settled into daily life and it’s not exactly the rose-petal-covered-bedspread and wine-bar-hopping you dreamed of.

Life has become more about paying bills, shuttling the kids around, cleaning the garage, and other obligations… this is not the feel-good, butterflies-in-your-stomach lifestyle you signed up for!

For many couples, marriage doesn’t feel like the fairy-tale they dreamed of.

You may feel disappointed.

You may think your partner changed.

You may wonder if you married the right person.

The good news:

Marriage is not supposed to feel like dating.

It can feel just as good - if not better - but in a different way. Setting realistic, shared expectations can allow you to feel excited in your present relationship, as it is.

Focusing on gratitude for what you already have and letting go of the “shoulds” can make a huge difference in how your relationship feels over all.

This week we are talking about what happens when your relationship doesn’t feel how you expected it to and what you can do to make it feel great right now. We’ll cover:

  • Common expectations vs. common realities in a marriage

  • If my marriage doesn’t feel how I expected it to, does that mean it isn’t working?

  • How the “shoulds” get in the way of your happiness

  • How to appreciate what you have now

  • How to create new realistic expectations for your relationship

We also made a great bonus for you - The Co-Creation of Realistic Expectations Worksheet - to help you collaborate with your partner on a vision of what you want your relationship to be and feel like.

Listen:

Watch:

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Show Notes:

SGR 001: Community that (Actually) Works
SGR 002: Getting Back to the Honeymoon Phase
SGR 011: Micro Rejection - The Silent Relationship Killer
SGR 013: When Married Life Doesn’t Feel Like a Fairy-Tale

Short on time? Here’s a list of today’s topics and when to listen:

How we feel and what we need when things get hectic - 2:59
How our relationship suffers when things get too busy - 6:41
Rituals of connection - 7:27
Turning towards each other - 8:20
How our relationship could serve as a cushion for the external stressors - 11:11
Quick and easy ways to stay connected - 14:42
Five mindful minutes - 16:01
Six-second kiss - 19:20
Bedtime routines - 24:17
Coupling a reward with work - 25:10
Meredith + Marina’s takeaways - 28:11

 

 

Download transcript here

Disclaimer:

Silveron Productions LLC and Nassau Wellness Marriage and Family Therapy PLLC do not hold itself out to be your psychologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, or social worker.  Our content is provided for informational and educational purposes only and is not to be perceived or relied upon as medical or mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment.  Do not use our content in lieu of professional advice given by qualified medical and mental health care professionals and do not disregard professional medical or mental health care advice or delay seeking professional advice because of information you have received from us.  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental disorder. If you think you may have a medical or mental health emergency, call your professional caregiver or 911 immediately.  We do not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, social workers, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned in our content.  By viewing our content, you acknowledge and agree that the following warnings and disclaimers apply to all of our content and agree to indemnify and hold Nassau Wellness and all content participants for any and all losses, injuries, and damages resulting from any and all claims that may arise from your use or misuse of the content.

By viewing our content, you further acknowledge that you are doing so voluntarily and at your own risk, and that you are solely and personally responsible for your choices, actions, and results, now and in the future. You accept full responsibility for the consequences of your use or non-use of any information provided in our content.  Nassau Wellness is not liable for any advice or information provided in our content, all of which is provided on an “as-is” basis. No warranties, either express or implied, are made regarding the information we provide, and Nassau Wellness makes no representations about the accuracy or the suitability of our content. Opinions and other statements expressed by third-parties are theirs alone. 

← SGR 014: How to Make Time for Each Other (When There is No Time) SGR 012: How to Agree to Disagree →
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Disclaimer:

Silveron Productions LLC and Nassau Wellness Marriage and Family Therapy PLLC do not hold itself out to be your psychologist, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, or social worker. Our content is provided for informational and educational purposes only and is not to be perceived or relied upon as medical or mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. Do not use our content in lieu of professional advice given by qualified medical and mental health care professionals and do not disregard professional medical or mental health care advice or delay seeking professional advice because of information you have received from us. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental disorder. If you think you may have a medical or mental health emergency, call your professional caregiver or 911 immediately. We do not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, social workers, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned in our content. By viewing our content, you acknowledge and agree that the following warnings and disclaimers apply to all of our content and agree to indemnify and hold Nassau Wellness and all content participants for any and all losses, injuries, and damages resulting from any and all claims that may arise from your use or misuse of the content.

By viewing our content, you further acknowledge that you are doing so voluntarily and at your own risk, and that you are solely and personally responsible for your choices, actions, and results, now and in the future. You accept full responsibility for the consequences of your use or non-use of any information provided in our content. Nassau Wellness is not liable for any advice or information provided in our content, all of which is provided on an “as-is” basis. No warranties, either express or implied, are made regarding the information we provide, and Nassau Wellness makes no representations about the accuracy or the suitability of our content. Opinions and other statements expressed by third-parties are theirs alone.

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