When you first started dating, it was all romantic dinners, date nights, long walks, and longer conversations.
There was passion and intimacy. You were dreaming of your future and couldn’t wait to build an amazing life together.
Fast forward to today:
You go to work, you come home, have dinner, do the dishes, and go to bed. You’ve settled into daily life and it’s not exactly the rose-petal-covered-bedspread and wine-bar-hopping you dreamed of.
Life has become more about paying bills, shuttling the kids around, cleaning the garage, and other obligations… this is not the feel-good, butterflies-in-your-stomach lifestyle you signed up for!
For many couples, marriage doesn’t feel like the fairy-tale they dreamed of.
You may feel disappointed.
You may think your partner changed.
You may wonder if you married the right person.
The good news:
Marriage is not supposed to feel like dating.
It can feel just as good - if not better - but in a different way. Setting realistic, shared expectations can allow you to feel excited in your present relationship, as it is.
Focusing on gratitude for what you already have and letting go of the “shoulds” can make a huge difference in how your relationship feels over all.
This week we are talking about what happens when your relationship doesn’t feel how you expected it to and what you can do to make it feel great right now. We’ll cover:
- Common expectations vs. common realities in a marriage
- If my marriage doesn’t feel how I expected it to, does that mean it isn’t working?
- How the “shoulds” get in the way of your happiness
- How to appreciate what you have now
- How to create new realistic expectations for your relationship
We also made a great bonus for you - The Co-Creation of Realistic Expectations Worksheet - to help you collaborate with your partner on a vision of what you want your relationship to be and feel like.
Short on time? Here’s a list of today’s topics and when to listen:
How we feel and what we need when things get hectic - 2:59
How our relationship suffers when things get too busy - 6:41
Rituals of connection - 7:27
Turning towards each other - 8:20
How our relationship could serve as a cushion for the external stressors - 11:11
Quick and easy ways to stay connected - 14:42
Five mindful minutes - 16:01
Six-second kiss - 19:20
Bedtime routines - 24:17
Coupling a reward with work - 25:10
Meredith + Marina’s takeaways - 28:11