No two people are the same.
Your partner will NOT always agree with your needs, wants, ideas, desires, goals, and values!
(Frankly, that would make your relationship a bit boring anyway).
But, would you like to know how to get your partner to say “yes” more often?
You can achieve this by YOU saying “yes” more often.
Compromise - or getting to the mutual “yes” - is a couples’ skill that can take your relationship from good to great in no time. Unfortunately, most couples misunderstand what compromise really entails.
Compromise is NOT about getting your partner on your side.
When your goal is persuasion, you will inevitably butt heads and fail to reach a middle ground. This approach creates a focus on the differences between you, rather than areas of agreement. It allows for doubt, criticism, and frustration to creep in. You actually end up pushing each other to opposite ends of the spectrum - rather than meeting in the middle.
No wonder couples feel compromise doesn’t work.
Successful compromise happens when you:
Start from a place of understanding
Look for similarities in your thoughts, feelings, and needs
Don’t focus on the differences
Effective compromise is about improving the quality of your relationship, not necessarily finding a clear-cut solution. (Remember: 69 percent of relationship issues are perpetual and won’t get resolved).
Not sure how to do this?
This week’s bonus, The Compromise Cheat Sheet, will guide you and your partner through this process step-by-step, so you can move from a stalemate to understanding, peace, and resolution.
Short on time? Here’s a list of today’s topics and when to listen:
- Compromise - 0:52
- Why do we need compromise? - 2:17
- Learning about each other - 5:55
- Understanding your partner - 8:37
- Finding common ground - 9:44
- Making a list of negotiables - 10:28
- Non-negotiables - 12:46
- Solvable and perpetual problems - 17:08
- Example of a solvable problem - 18:49
- Example of a perpetual problem - 21:26
- End goal - 24:40
- Meredith + Marina’s takeaways - 26:36