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SGR 075: Everything You Need to Know About Emotional Affairs

February 27, 2020 Marina Voron
SGR 075 - Stock Photo.jpeg

Have you ever wondered about emotional affairs?

We’ve worked with many couples who have gone through the experience of a partner having an emotional affair. Let us tell you - an emotional affair is just as damaging (if not more) than a physical affair. The dishonesty and turning towards someone new instead of your relationship partner creates a significant breach of trust and requires a lot of repair work to move forward.

There are a few key components of emotional affairs:

1 | They’re secretive.

The communication between the individual and their affair partner is kept hidden from their relationship partner. Texts or emails may be deleted or there may be a second phone or email account. The individual may no longer allow their partner to access their cell phone or become defensive when they try. Often, the rationale for hiding this communication is that their relationship partner would “get angry” or “read too much into it” and they want to avoid the unnecessary conflict. Much of the time, the individual does not believe this communication constitutes “an affair.”

2 | They involve a LOT of communication.

Texts, emails, and phone calls start early in the morning and go on until late in the evening. It can seem that every free moment is consumed by interacting with the affair partner. The sheer volume of communication is a red flag that this relationship is more than just a friendship and is serving emotional (or physical) needs. Additionally, this level of communication takes away time and energy from the individual investing in their primary relationship.

3 | There is intense emotional closeness and vulnerability.

This is the most powerful component of an emotional affair. Due to the frequency and intensity of communication between the individual and their affair partner, a great deal of emotional intimacy is built quickly. Since this relationship exists only in fantasy - no bills, no chores, no managing a household together, no kids, limited time together, few opportunities for conflict or needing to compromise - it creates the opportunity for a ton of deposits in the emotional bank account and very few withdrawals. This dynamic creates intense emotional closeness that is reinforced each time there’s another interaction that feels good - and, unfortunately, when there’s an interaction with their relationship partner that doesn’t feel good.

In this week’s episode, we’re going into more depth on emotional affairs. We’re defining them, discussing the context in which they can occur, and giving you strategies for repairing and moving forward should you be experiencing this in your relationship.

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In relationships Tags emotional affair, affair
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Emotional Affairs | Part III: I'm Having an Emotional Affair - What Do I Do Now?

February 18, 2016 Marina Voron

Emotional affairs are destructive for relationships. Period. Just because the physical aspect is not involved doesn't mean they don't have similar (or worse) effects. What can you do to end the affair and reconnect with your husband?

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In Marina Voron MA LMFT Tags couples therapy, emotional affair
2 Comments

Emotional Affairs | Part II: Am I Having an Emotional Affair?

February 11, 2016 Marina Voron

There is frequently a "supplemental" component to an emotional affair. The feeling you're getting from someone else is one you should be getting from your partner - red flag. You're likely engaged in an emotional affair.

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In Marina Voron MA LMFT Tags emotional affair
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Emotional Affairs | Part I: What is an Emotional Affair?

February 5, 2016 Marina Voron

Most of the emotional affairs I've dealt with started innocently enough: connecting with an old friend on Facebook, texting with a friend from work, making a passing compliment to someone on Instagram (notice the social media theme here?). However, these friendships soon turn into something more.

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In Marina Voron MA LMFT Tags emotional affair, couples therapy, infidelity
Featured
Sep 17, 2020
SGR 103: Pelvic Floor Health and Sexual Pleasure with Kim Vopni
Sep 17, 2020

Are Kegels as close as you’ve gotten to being informed about pelvic floor health?

If so, this week’s episode is for you.

Some signs that you may be having pelvic floor issues include:

  • Incontinence

  • Lower back pain

  • Discomfort with sex

  • A weak core

Sep 17, 2020

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