Well, this week we had to turn the tables.
After researching the advice husbands were asking Google, we felt it only right to look into the searches being made by their wives.
Interestingly, there was a lot of overlap between the two. Both partners are looking for the same things: to feel heard, to feel connected, and to feel loved. And both partners are struggling with how to make this happen. Luckily, we’ve got answers.
Here are a few of the top searches:
How to get my husband to love me again?
Make it your mission to create small, positive moments with your husband on a consistent basis. Focus on rebuilding your emotional bank account and making as many deposits as you can. Schedule the events to ensure they take place. Treat these activities as protected time without problem talk or negativity - let them go well and let them be easy.
How to get my husband to listen to me?
Show your husband that you listen to him. Summarize what you hear him share with you. Ask open-ended questions (ex: oh, that’s interesting - can you tell me more about that?) and express genuine interest. Validate his perspective - don’t challenge it or give unsolicited advice. Then, once he’s feels fully heard, share your perspective and gently ask him to do the same.
How to get my husband to talk to me?
Create an emotionally safe, nonjudgmental space for him to share. Many times when men are not opening up it’s because they’ve experienced negative feedback from doing so. This may have been in the form of criticism, invalidation, unsolicited advice, or even harsher responses. They may have had this experience long ago with a parent - remember, “boys don’t cry” - in previous relationships, or even with you. Showing him that you’re there as someone who loves him and wants nothing more than to understand his inner world will invite him to take the risk of opening up more and more over time.
The top two search results - shocked us. Sure, we get that these may be concerns. But, we did NOT expect these to be numbers one and two. (You’ll have to listen to this week’s episode to find out what they were!)