SGR 089: What To Do When You Have a Lot of Time Together and No Shared Hobbies

If you and your partner have been “staying at home” together these past few months, you may have come to a realization:

We have no shared hobbies.

So many couples are facing this, as the usual hustle-and-bustle has been paused. Gyms, restaurants, and movie theaters have been closed. Spas and salons have been closed. Spending time with friends has been put on hold.

You may have been looking at your partner trying to figure out what in the world you’re going to do together. This can be challenging for a number of reasons.

It can drum up feelings about compatibility. What does it mean if we don’t have shared hobbies? Are we not a good match? Do we not have any of the same interests?

It can cause conflict when you try to agree on ways to spend time together. You may want to go for a bike ride, but your partner may prefer to stay inside and watch a movie. Facing these disagreements over and over can lead to frustration and resentment.

It can make you feel distanced from your partner. We don’t have things in common, so I have no choice but to turn away from them. I’ll focus on my own interests and they can focus on their own interests. We’re living parallel lives, but I wish we could be closer and more connected.

If any of these feel familiar to you, be sure to check out this week’s episode. We’re talking about the pros + cons of having separate hobbies in your relationship, the problem with creating a “problem” around not having shared hobbies, and how to cultivate shared hobbies + interests with your partner.

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